Glenn Beck’s ‘I have a Dream Speech’

This is the ‘I have a Dream Speech’ that Glenn Beck would give at the Lincoln Memorial if he were being completely honest.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from tax increases or increased regulation of your speculative financial instruments. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of government takeover and staggered by the winds of police laxness toward Mexicans and minority crime. You have been the veterans of creative suffering, under our current strange mixture of fascism, communism and Islam (Islamo-commie-fascism as I call it). Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering cannot be cured by a government take-over of health care.

Go back to the Hamptons, go back to Grosse Point, go back to Alaska, go back to Utah, go back to Idaho, go back to the suburbs and exurbs of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation of having an African-American president can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that some men are only worth 3/5s of others.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down and recognize that our president doesn’t like white guys.

I have a dream that one day even the borough of Manhattan, a borough sweltering with the heat of socialism, sweltering with the heat of Islamic fascism, will be transformed into a mosque-free oasis of freedom for people just like me.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their gold portfolios.

I have a dream today. . .

satire

17 Responses

  1. Hello Juan,

    Here is my reply (in the words of Martin Luther King Jr.):

    “…In a way we were agreeing with
    Langston Hughes, that black bard of Harlem, who had written earlier:

    O, yes, I say it plain,
    America never was America to me,
    And yet I swear this oath-
    America will be!

    Now it should be incandescently clear that no one who has any concern for
    the integrity and life of America today can ignore the present war. If
    America’s soul becomes totally poisoned, part of the autopsy must read
    “Vietnam.” It can never be saved so long as it destroys the deepest hopes of
    men the world over. So it is that those of us who are yet determined that
    “America will be” are led down the path of protest and dissent, working for
    the health of our land…”
    -Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
    4 April 1967

    As always thank you for “working for the health of our land”.

    Regards,

    David Trimmell

  2. I have a dream that one day nobody will need intelligence, competence and integrity to run and be elected to public office in this land; I have a dream that no politician will ever be judged by the merit of his ideas but by the flames of his demagogy. I have a dream that one day our elections will be decided by gunfires instead of ballot boxes. I have a dream.

      • First it is not my dream, it is rather what should have already gone into this satirical piece in the first place since it precisely reflects how Beck views electoral politics. Secondly it might be true that politics is not much different from ‘his’ dream right now, but keep in mind that in Beck’s standards, politics is still too elitist (read meritocratic) for morons like him and Sarah Palin to get their hands onto the red button.

  3. I must be taking all this WAY too seriously, but I honestly thought he would say:
    “I have a dream that one day our children will be judged not by the content of their character, but by the colour of their skin.”

  4. Anyone who reads Dr. King’s later sermons will have to admit that he was a radical pacifist, a unilateral disarmer, and an enemy of American global domination. That he viewed worship of US intervention abroad as akin to support for racism at home, because the government could not long pay for war and the Great Society.

    But no one reads those sermons. There is no point in reading those sermons. The Right learned the hard way during the MLK Day controversy that he couldn’t be smeared, so he had to be co-opted, and that required erasing all evidence of what fascists like J. Edgar Hoover and the KKK correctly pointed out about his radical politics. Al Sharpton claims he witnessed James Brown use his connections in the GOP to negotiate Reagan’s approval for the holiday. But Brown could hardly have imagined how that would require the Orwellian rape of King’s dream of an egalitarian, multi-cultural society.

    If we don’t draw the line here on historical truth, there is no lie the Right cannot make “common knowledge”. At this very moment, other tentacles of the right-wing lie machine have an aggressive Internet rumor campaign underway to paint Hitler as part-Jew, part-Black, all-homosexual, and by insinuation a “liberal”. Other tentacles are telling black audiences that the Democrats are still the party of white supremacy, while yet other tentacles tell carefully chosen white audiences that Lincoln was evil and slavery was just.

    All of that is going on at the same time. Why? So that when normal people are no longer sure what the truth is, they will turn in their confusion to the only people who have certitude in America, those who will never stop screaming, lying and fighting until they have restored our society to the bitterly-resisted evils of 19th century Christian-protected white supremacist unregulated capitalism. And this time they will kill as many of us as they have to in order to keep it cemented in place.

    • Our society is right now founded on “unregulated capitalism.” We don’t have to worry about returning to it but rather turning away from it. That’s what Glenn Beck is opposed to. What he represents is the fear that our government might actually take care of people. He said in a speech to CPAC (Conservative Political Action Committee) back in February: “What we don’t have a right to is: health care, housing, or handouts. We don’t have those rights.” That’s actually true, but he aims to keep it that way. The lie is that he rails against the government being too big, yet says nothing about the billions wasted on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. His view is that “the only job of the United States government is to save us from bad guys.” A government that tries to help its own citizens instead of going to other countries and killing their citizens is a threat to our individual rights. This is an insane message, but it’s dressed up in patriotism and uses television as well as religion to attract people. Ultimately, though, it’s a fraud. I think most normal people, no matter how confused they are, realize this.

      • I don’t watch Glenn Beck’s show, so I was mistaken about one thing. I read that he did say, apparently, on his show that we should reduce military spending and have a non-interventionist foreign policy. Except when it comes to Iran, I’m guessing.

  5. I have a dream that people couldn’t care less what an egomaniac talk show entertainer has to say. I didn’t listen to Beck’s speech, I don’t want to listen to Beck’s speech, I don’t want to see the faces of the people in his crowd. In other words, I don’t put a nickel into the machine that makes his plastic head spin around.

  6. If Beck actually cared about being a Christian, or bringing God back to America, he would’ve said: “Please, I know we’re Americans, but right now we need to help our brothers and sisters who are suffering in Pakistan – even though they’re Muslims.” But maybe that sounds like more satire, putting those words in his mouth. It’s hard to understand how anyone can take his message seriously.

  7. Communism is what Glenn wants us to stop from happening. Our founding fathers were raised up by the hand of God. They created within the constitution the laws by which we need to live by, in order to be free. Also these laws are written within the scriptures. We must turn to god to still be free men. People are being blindfolded and taken by the hand by socialism which leads to communism and are the same in themselves. Communism has never worked and never will. We have been told that Communism is Satan’s counterfeit for the gospel of God. A true American abides by the laws of the constitution which abides by the laws of God. I am only 18 years old and have figured this out. Wake up and join the army of God. Be saved in his grace. Become the free man our founding fathers intended us to be. Faith, Hope, and Charity are the set morals.

    • Dear Mr. Peterson,
      I was born in the former German Democratic Republic, a socialist state, as you surely know. My parents believed in the merits of socialism, partly even communism, and only towards the end of that slowly failing system realized that not all was well in a country with “Planwirtschaft” (socialist economics) and severely limited individual rights. However, they soaked up the theories of Marx, Engels and Lenin, which also shaped much of the political ideology of the current left (and far-left) in Germany. Socialism is still very much an issue in Germany today, given the way people think about welfare, health care, and many other issues. And you surely know that Germany today is not at all suffering from lack of economic might or (severe) lack of individual freedom. (Btw: I can see any AMERICAN house on Google Street View, but not my own.)
      Please, for the love of your God (I was raised without religion), please read some books about socialism and communism. As an American studies major, I find it very tedious to explain to my fellow countrymen and -women how Americans like you can be so utterly misinformed about both theories, yet see the specter of a “red invasion” in almost everything Barack Obama does.
      My friend, if you really were on the road to socialism (and communism), you just barely made it out of the starting block.
      Truly,
      Sebastian, who actually READ “Das Kapital” (which is a rather famous book by Marx)

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