This is C-Span’s video of President Barack Obama’s mostly tongue-in-cheek address at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
“[Hillary] won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.”
“It’s nice to be here in the Hilton Ballroom, or what Mitt Romney would call a ‘little fixer-uppper.’ ”
“Jimmy [Kimmel] got his start on the Man Show. In Washington that is what we call a ‘Congressional hearing on contraception.’ ”
“What is the difference between a Hockey Mom and a pitbull? A pitbull is delicious.”
“America’s dogs can’t afford 4 more years of Barack Obama; for them, that’s 28 years!”
“In my first term I ended the war in Iraq; in my second term I will win the war on Christmas.”
“I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.”