Top Ten Ways NRA Stole Christmas this Year

The tone deaf and horrifyingly self-serving speech given by Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association on Friday cast a pall over our holiday season. At a time of national mourning and determination finally to rein in the plague of semi-automatic weaponry infesting our society, the speech was an exercise in blaming everyone but the lobby that has so effectively shielded the semi-automatic manufacturers and retailers from regulation. Here are the ways the NRA grinch stole Christmas this year:

1. Blamed video games for massacre of 6-year-olds and elementary school teachers. No evidence video games implicated.

2. Blamed movies for massacre of 6-year-olds and elementary school teachers. No evidence movies implicated.

3. Urged creation of 100,000-strong new Federal bureaucracy of armed school guards, which implies big tax increase. Thanks, Wayne! (And did not mention that Columbine had an armed guard or that Virginia Tech has its own police department.)

4. Condemned “gun-free schools” policy as insane.

5. Scaremongered about rise in violent crime. Murder rate in US cut in half since 1990, but did not mention that firearms murder rate remains highest among advanced countries.

6. Condemns confusion of semi-automatic guns with “machine guns.” Does not mention how many bullets a minute a semi-automatic gun with expanded clip can shoot.

7. Seems to call for armed adult volunteers to show up at our elementary schools to engage in vigilante ‘guarding’ of them. Are these likely the people we want in our schools?

8. Wants cordons around schools instead of gun control.

9. Offers to train elementary school children in use of firearms.

10. Does not mention that semi-automatic rifles were designed for military use and are not necessary for hunting, or that they are banned for civilians among all our NATO allies.

16 Responses

  1. The NRA should be really lamenting the loss of Charlton Heston. With his imperial bearing, resonant voice, good looks and (perhaps hammy over-)acting skills, he could render drivel like LaPierre’s speech into something that sounded patriotic, sensible, even heroic.

    LaPierre just comes off as an out-of-touch ferret, a self-serving weasel. It took the NRA a full week to prepare THIS?! Wow.

  2. The NRA should really change its name to the North American Man/Gun Love Association.

  3. Sadly, LaPierre’s speech was all too successful in one respect. The usual trolls and 2nd amendment diehard/blowhards had been noticeable by their absence from the readers’ discussion and comment sections of newspapers and news websites. But they’re out in force today. One has to assume that his main aim was to rally the troops and start to push back against the tide of justified anger that has just swept over the NRA.

  4. The NRA seems to think that the solution to gun violence is more guns, which is kind of like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on the fire. Theoretically it could work but it also has a huge chance of exploding in all of our faces.

  5. The NRA just made a terrible tactical mistake. For years the blaming of TV, movies and games for violence was the domain of liberals. To small-government reactionaries, gun violence in the media was fine as long as it glorified the cops and military and white icons like cowboys. In other words, the rednecks demanded that the media teach their sons to share their worship of the efficacy of gun violence, so as to stay ahead of the dark-skinned horde breeding in the ghetto, who were genetically violent. Thus, “freedom” to indulge in violence would empower the “good guys” to victory; censorship, like gun control, would weaken us civilized folk but not the barbarians.

    It was crazy, but it couldn’t be refuted, thus held the gun community together and made it ever more extreme. The second you reverse your position, you admit that “free will” cannot be trusted regardless of race, that all kids have to be shielded from Pavlovian inculcation into violence, which can only be done by the government.

    Once you’ve opened up that can of worms, you might as well say that government has a responsibility to the poor, the victims of racism, et al. The NRA has undermined the ethos of the white warrior tribe without even understanding that.

  6. One of the most dispiriting things about being an American today is realizing how many of our would-be leaders are mentally ill.

  7. “Monsters are everywhere.”??? This NRA lobbyist has watched too many zombie flicks. It’s ironic how Right-wing conspiracy theorists preach that Obama (one of the most impotent presidents this country has ever seen, btw) is attempting a socialist takeover. Therefore, citizens need to be armed to defend themselves.
    NRA solution: A massively increased police presence spread out to every school. Who’s advocating for a police state here?
    Now for some more practical concerns:
    1. How many police officers do we currently have?
    2. How many schools do we have?
    3. How much would it cost to put an armed guard in every school? What would they do during 99% of the time when no shooting takes place?
    4. How much would it cost to have an honest discussion about messages that music groups such as KMFDM put in their lyrics?
    5. How much would it cost to reinstate the assault weapons ban?

  8. You forgot to mention that he suggest
    ed developing a national list of those individuals who had been or were being treated for emotional disturbance.
    (I wonder if he would qualify for the list?)

  9. The “right” to gun ownership simply is a “right” that did not work out. Gun ownership must be re-cast now as a “privilege.” Therefore, the Second Amendment — which is a grammatical nightmare anyway– should be repelaed and re-written.

  10. “9. Offers to train elementary school children in use of firearms.”

    This is not a bad idea. I learned how to use a rifle while at elementary school camp. Children should be taught respect for guns and how they are used in a safe and supervised manner.

    Horseplay involving children and weapons is a problem. Gun education is something in which young people can benefit by instilling in them as sense of respect for the power and dangers associated with firearms.

    • I was a hunter by age seven or eight and went through the NRA training for kids and got a card stating so. Frankly, in the rural area and socioeconomic status thereof, a deer was a real help to feed a family. However, that entirely honorable ethos the NRA had was, like the original well-meaning teaparty, bought. No real gun safety organization as the NRA was then would recognize what these tools seem to advocate for now. Ditto the Republican party, same story. It’s all about greed.

  11. Has anyone checked how Canada handles ownership of firearms? What is their
    list of school attacks? What is their list of random shootings in theatres, shopping malls etc.? Weare kept in the dark of our neighbors, seems we don’t want anyone to know the comparisons. We are not a safe country.

  12. thanks for the story. Great headline. Would make a good t-shirt.

  13. “held the gun community together and made it ever more extreme.”

    Can you think of something that would pull the gun community apart? Divide and conquer…

  14. An NRA elementary school schedule:

    First period: Gun Show and Tell, Target Shooting, Quick-Draw Contest.

    Second period: Duck and Cover Practice, students must provide kevlar-covered back packs and lunch pails.

    Third period: Shop Class, making one’s own bullets, learning how to “upgrade” guns for higher firepower.

    Fourth period: Triage, “accidents” happen, shoot first and ask questions later.

    Fifth period: Stripping your assault weapon down, oiling parts, reassembling it, until one can do it in the dark.

    Sixth period: Choosing who will be the point child to lead their heavily-armed class as it leaves school grounds at the end of another NRA day.

  15. Here’s how you buy a gun in Canada:

    link to howtogetagun.ca

    According to David Frum (speechwriter for George W. Bush), these simple restrictions have cut gun violence rates in half in Canada. And yes, handguns are perfectly legal in Canada.

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