Ghoul’s Glossary: Shutdown

Shutdown: n. A maneuver whereby persons elected and paid by the public to do little but pass budgets refuse to do so unless they are permitted to prevent poor children from seeing a doctor.

Compromise: v. To Comply. The president, reelected by a comfortable margin, and the Senate, with a Democratic majority, must do what a handful of Tea Party Republicans in the House order them to do (i.e. must “compromise”) or there won’t be a government.

Defund: v. To throw a tantrum. E.g. where Ted Cruz won’t pay for things that are constitutional and mandated by law, but which he really dislikes. Mostly found in the context of women’s control over their bodies, or of poor children needing to see a physician, or of poor babies facing malnutrition.

Absolutism: Where you disagree with Ted Cruz or the Tea Party. Ant. Compromise.

Support: v. To screw over. Since our men and women under arms will see their paychecks delayed by a shutdown, and since the GOP authors of the shutdown are always proclaiming their undying “support” of our troops, one can only conclude that in their colorful Southern dialect, the word “support” has undergone a semantic shift of gargantuan proportions.

Preparedness. n. (esp. military): The act of watching t.v. on your couch. A “shutdown” will furlough 400,000 of 800,000 Department of Defense civilian workers, depriving the military (whose pay is now in arrears) of its key bureaucratic tail.

Veteran: n. Fall guy. A “shutdown” will cut off payment of veterans’ pensions and compensation for injuries received in combat. This denial of pension and benefits to persons who risked their lives for this country is a form of Republican Party “support” (q.v.)

Small business: n. Nonentity. Although Republican representatives are always going on about the importance of “small business,” a shutdown will deny government loans to proprietors of such businesses. Ted Cruz is doing this to small businessmen not because they decline to “compromise” with him but because he “supports” them, just as he “supports” the fall guys, I mean, veterans and the troops.

16 Responses

  1. If only there could be a government shutdown over the cost of the needless war in Afghanistan. A senseless war that claimed the lives of seven more servicemen just last week, one soldier was 22 years old. That brings the total killed, for nothing, up to over 3,800.

    I could support the government being made to debate wasting $6 billion a month to prop up warlords and line the pockets of Raytheon. I would love to see Meet The Press, Face the Nation and all of the cable news networks informing Americans about this 13 year old Bush/Cheney fiasco.

    But our good Republican and media war pimps just love their wars and high drama. It seems the war gets a pass, barely ever mentioned, while a small percentage of food stamp abusers and hysterics over Affordable Health care for all Americans is topic A…24/7. What Patriots they are.

    • It is good you point this out. Only a handful of people in the US seem to care about the costly mess Bush/Cheney have left us in Afghanistan and in Iraq and what they have done to living American Servicemen and women who need on-going health and mental health help via the VA and to the families of the dead. And the US media seems to devote little space to this matter.

  2. You’ve been talking to Joseph Heller again, right? Was Will Rodgers part of the conversation too? Now, if you could only conference in George Carlin, you would really be humming on all eight cylinders…

    The horror here is that those three, and you, all love the potential goodness of what we were born into. Cruz, as a momentary personification of the other sort of “citizen,” is just a tapeworm.

    Care to take a shot at “Freedom,” and “Liberty,” and “Victory!,” and “Patriot,” and “National Interest”? Maybe even “Terrorist/Insurgent/Rebel/Fighter (see “Freedom”)/Etc.”?

  3. Let’s see a Ghoul’s glossary definition of “Peace candidate” “Peace prize”. Then we can look up “Transparency” while we’re at it! oh, “Change” and “Hope” would be great ones as well.

  4. The term fall guy usually means someone who takes the blame for something. Probably soldiers and veterans are not so much fall guys as suckers or chumps. No?

  5. You might enjoy this send-up of Ted Cruz. My friend’s “iHandbill” blog post sums him up beautifully, and invokes an early Christmas Scrooge with his “Cruzmas Card”. The author, Larry Ray, is a former newsman from New Orleans and artist, more of a Renaissance man than I thought still existed.

    link to theihandbill.blogspot.com

  6. The stage is set for a gigantic giveaway by George W. Obama. How much of the social safety net will he trash? And Democratic officialdumb will tearfully opine, “he did it only because he was blackmailed.” Horse feathers!

    We know better. Contrary to 2008, Obama has a record.

  7. Oh, and let’s not forget:

    Wah: an exclamatory particle usually indicative of infantile displeasure. Found most commonly in the phrase wah! Wah! WAH WAH WAH! Also the motto of the current Tea Party masquerading as the GOP.

    • Ok, in light of your above post on the government shutdown I can’t resist one more.

      Conservative, n. Someone who has everything who denies anything to someone who has nothing. Once a term to describe those interested in “conserving” now associated with radical mischief and a vulgarism.

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