Pastor Hagee: It’s not Climate Change, It’s The Return Of Christ

Hagee: You May Think It’s Climate Change, But It’s The Return Of Jesus Christ (via Liberaland)

Matthew Hagee, son of fire and brimstone preacher John Hagee, says don’t believe those climate scientists who say things that are against the Bible, and this against the word of God. What the changes in climate mean is that Jesus is coming. And soon…



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Related video:

Matthew Hagee Says It’s Not Climate Change But The Imminent Return Of Jesus

13 Responses

  1. Pontifex Maximus C. Julius Caesar Asserts Climate Change the Result of Un-Propitious Omens on Ewe’s Livers.

    A repeated series of sacrificial victims had to be cut open by Caesar and examined by the haruspices this past week. The normal number of just one would have been sufficient, but the left lobe of each liver was in turn quite fatty and had dark markings, indicating quite clearly that the recent bad weather has been driven by divine forces.

    “We think that there is a nasty spat going on between the goddess Juno and her consort Jupiter ever since Juno promised Aeolus, god of the winds, a bunch of pretty sea-nymphs if he would just release his winds to drive the Trojan fleet to north Africa”, one of Caesar’s attendant priests said.

    “The livers looked terrible”, he added, “but tasted pretty good with some onions”. Greek intellectuals scoffed, and were quick to point out that natural phenomenon was more likely to blame.

    “I thought the question over weather was settled by the Ionic school of philosophy over half a millennium ago”, said a clearly perturbed Democritus. “Honestly, Caesar should stick to his Gallic conquests, but exploiting ignorance over natural phenonmena to make some sort of religious point . . . well, it’s really quite below his dignitas, and, by the way, insulting in general to the populus Romanus.”

    When Titus Labenius, a spokesman for Caesar, was asked about Hagee’s competing claim that it was in preparation for Jesus’ return, Labenius noted, “It’s 62 BC, Jesus won’t be born for another 58 years or so . . . so I couldn’t possibly comment.”

  2. Yeshua would mildly chide Hagee for being a dominionist instead of a follower of His. Hagee would then be dismissed with the admonition that he go forth and sin against humanity no more.

  3. Ahhh, very clever. Take old guard corporate politics, and old tyme religion, and this is what you get!

  4. Well, suppose Jesus DOES return in the immediate future. Remember, He/His father gave the Earth to Adam and his ancestors under the conditions that they TAKE CARE OF IT.

    So, Jesus appears, let’s say in Pastor Hagee’s church during services. And he looks around. “Where is my dodo? What happened to my passenger pigeons? How come there are almost no elephants, lions, tigers, buffalo anymore? Or honeybees – how do expect to even survive without them? What’s going on with the atmosphere? Haven’t you even noticed how hot it’s been getting? Haven’t you noticed the super-storms? WHO’S RESPONSIBLE??”

    Well, you can imagine His disappointment. Unless you’re Rev. Hagee, apparently.

    • God continued, “And where is the elephant in Africa? I sent you someone as affable and well loved as Jimmy Stewart who was actually concerned about this issue! And where are the amphibians? What the hell did you do with my amphib- . . . [God drums fingers irritably on table interrupting himself] Where are the ice caps? Hmm?!?!?! Where are the ICE CAPS? WHERE ARE THE FUCKING ICE CAPS? You ASSHOLES! What the FUCK! What the hell did you do with them!?!?!?! You’re not gonna need an ark this time, because you’ve turned this lovely place into f*****g VENUS and I’m not interested in saving jackoffs who shit in their own house!”

      (Sorry, sometimes copious expletives are the only place to go!)

    • That was my thought as well – perhaps the human activities causing massive pollution and global warming are angering the Supreme Being. Wasn’t there something in the Bible about God destroying the Earth with fire next time? Doesn’t fire make things warmer?

      For that matter, the “Tribulation” which was scheduled to occur right after the Rapture involved things such as plagues and natural disasters sweeping the globe. Perhaps there is a God, and that God designed the natural laws of the universe in such a way as to automatically punish the profligate ways of greedy humans… by, say, having wasteful use of petrochemicals trigger global warming.

  5. This is an old (and dangerous) story: President Ronald Reagan’s evangelical secretary of the interior, James Watt, likewise showed little concern for environmental degradation when he “remarked to stunned members of the House Interior Committee, ‘I don’t know how many future generations we can count on before the Lord returns.’”
    link to detailedpoliticalquizzes.wordpress.com

    • “stunned members of the House Interior Committee”
      These days, they’d give Watt a rousing “AAAAmen, brother!”

  6. Some Shi’is (those who believe in 12 Imams) believe that the 11th Imam, Hasan al-Askari, had a son born on 29 July 869 who succeeded him as the 12th Imam at the age of five after the death of his father. As he was a child he communicated with his followers through his deputies, who received all the donations on behalf of the Hidden Imam and transmitted the answers that he gave to various questions by the believers. That period was called the period of Minor Occultation. When the Hidden Imam was nearly 71 years old, the followers became restless because they wanted to see him. As the fourth Deputy Abul-Hasan Ali ibn Muhammad al-Samarri insisted that the 12th Imam was still in hiding and only communicated through him, there is a story that someone brought a sack of money and said he wanted to donate it to the Hidden Imam, but he wanted a sign or a miracle from him. He asked al-Samarri to ask the Hidden Imam how much money he had in his sack and if the amount was correct he could have the money to take it to the Hidden Imam. At this point, in the year 941, al-Samarri said that the Hidden Imam had got angry that someone had decided to test him, and sent a letter to his followers saying that he had postponed his reappearance and had started the period of his Major Occultation. The Shi’i faithful are still waiting for the end of the period of his Major Occultation and the reappearance of the Hidden Imam with Jesus.

    I have got it on good authority that as Pastor Matthew Hagee mentioned some climatic changes as firm evidence of Christ’s imminent return, Jesus is angry because some people are trying to predict his Second Coming and expediting his return. So he has decided to postpone his Second Coming by another 1,000 years. So I am afraid we can expect many more climatic catastrophes before the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.

  7. Did Hagee really reference Matthew 25 for this? There’s nothing in Matthew 25 that remotely refers to weather. I suggest people actually read it to see what a complete fraud this man is.

  8. Presumably the Christ would be intelligent and decent enough to understand science and take steps to remedy a dangerous situation. What is happening is not only a matter of science but a matter of morality as well, and Hagee fails miserably on both counts. He’s not even ready for the first coming of Christ, much less for the second.

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