Republicans Reject Reid Half Measures, Embrace Gangsta Rap


Republicans were outraged Monday by two-year-old remarks of Democratic Senate Majority leader Harry Reid about the electability of Barack Obama, in which Reid (an early Obama supporter) spoke of Obama’s light skin color and his lack of “Negro dialect.” The GOP, they said, would never apply such superficial criteria to the choice of high African-American officials.

Nor would the GOP ever use an outmoded term such as “Negro,” except in that beloved Christmas spiritual, “Barack the Magic Negro.

Meanwhile, Liz Cheney urged her party to unite behind rapper 50 Cent for the GOP presidential candidate in 2012. “That will teach Reid a lesson,” she said, noting that gangsta rap is about guns, wearing big crosses, distrust of government, entrepreneurship, rejection of science and elite education, over-dressing, torturing your enemy, occasionally shooting your friends, and upholding old-time patriarchy. “I’m not accusing Mr. Cent of any of these things, mind you. Let’s face it, Tupac and Notorious B.I.G aren’t here any more, but maybe we can hearken back to them.” Plus, she noted, singing along with gangsta rap lyrics makes it possible to go way beyond just saying “Negro” the way Saltsman and Reid did. “That will be a relief for a lot of members of our party,” she acknowledged.

“You can’t accuse gangsta rap of being anything lite,” she noted. “Nobody in my family has ever been able to understand a word they say–but we like the values, especially the guns and shooting and torturing people.” Embracing this subculture, she asserted, would help the Republican Party get back to its core values. Moreover, she said, the Republican Party could reinvigorate gangsta rap, which many say is dead–killed by the opulence the big payouts by recording companies made possible. “Did you see what we did to Baghdad and Saddam? Nobody is better at gang wars and busting caps in people’s asses than we are. We’re proof that rich people don’t have to be soft or nice.” Asked about a possible running mate for 50, she just smiled coyly.

GOP: 50-Cheney in 2012


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5 Responses

  1. I actually started reading this seriously. Then I was wondering what is she getting at? Then, by the end I burst into laughter, at both the content and my belated grasp of the joke.


  2. In a widely-publised essay back in 1994, "Sexism and Misogyny: Who Takes the Rap?Misogyny, gangsta rap, and The Piano," bell hooks noted many of the same parallels between the violence of misogyny of Gangsta culture and the upper-echolons of capitalist patriarchy that Professor Cole pursues satirically.

    link to

    In hooks' nomenclature, Liz Cheney would be the ultimate "Man's Woman." I, however, am meaner: what is Liz Cheney other than "Daddy's Girl?"

  3. This was pretty good. I missed the little "satire" heading the first time. At first, I thought maybe she had actually said that sarcastically herself, then I thought "wha …?"
    Professor Cole, you are not only an incisive, informative and accessible analyst/commentator on the Middle-East. Your satirical skills are not too shabby either!

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