Top Ten Mitt Romney Solutions to our Problems

1. Expensive emergency room care for those who have no health insurance.

2. Higher taxes on the middle class.

3. Lower taxes on millionaires.

4. War with Iran.

5. Intervention in Syria.

6. Make Egypt understand what the rules are.

7. Annoy both Russia and China. Brand the Russian Federation no. 1 enemy of the United States for no known reason.

8. Free skin dye kit for every American who wants to enjoy the tremendous advantages of becoming Latino in America–including the chance to join the ranks of all our past Latino presidents (who had this unfair advantage).

9. Cold fusion
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10. Airplane windows that can easily be opened in flight whenever there is a fire on board at 30,000 feet. Also, free parachutes for all the passengers who will be sucked through the open window.